I think I miss the feeling of being loved.
Today I saw the slightest, yet most adorable, display of affection from my friend and her boyfriend. Just the way he offered her his sandwich, and told her he had already ate all the peppers because he knew she didn't like them, nothing right?
Wrong.
It's the most wonderful feeling in the world knowing someone knows you, and more importantly, cares about you. Thinks about you. Anything.
Part of me thinks I maybe don't deserve affection. That maybe after behaving so.. poorly, all I deserve is poor treatment.
Maybe being alone is what I get for rejecting the people who were genuinely seemed to care about me.
Then again, did anyone really care about me to begin with? I mean, looking back on my last "serious" relationship, the dick won't even talk to me now. Some bullshit about how he's used to associating me with negative emotions. Don't ask, I don't get it either. So, if he can feel that way about me now, who's to say he ever felt anything else? Maybe when we were dating he was just curious as to what it was like to be in a relationship, and decided to play the role of a boy in love.
I suppose it's possible I'm just being stupid, but that doesn't change the fact that I really just want someone to hold me.
And care about me.
And just be there.
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