I sometimes forget that I tried to off myself once. It feels like a "once upon a time". I'm not sure if it's specifically "forgetting" or pushing to the back of my mind. It was resurfaced just now because I was going through some of my old writings (the ones I said I'd eventually put up). Here's the one I just read. Not a hundred percent sure if this is up yet, like, if I'd typed it up in a reminiscent moment once before, but I doubt it. So here goes:
"What have I done?
I don't know what to do. What if it didn't work? What are you supposed to do after you've used your last resort? What if your last resort fails you? How long does it take to die anyways? I think it was about... 5 of the really strong ones and 12 of the regulars. That's a fair number of pills. It has to have some sort of effect. Plus, it was on an empty stomach. I just want it all to end. I don't care about all the shit I'll be missing out on if I die. I've just stopped caring. I want it to be over with."
Another one was written on the back of some recipes I had in my pocket at the time. This one isn't so depressing. I was just high over the summer and with my fuck buddy of the time- we were in a forest and staring at trees:
"I sense there's something in the air, a silence coming, a new wall burning. Just words. So many faces they pass me by and by. Itchy itchy. They come a biting, knocking on your door. They will be pouncing and just creating words. It's always moving. I'll never remember the tune. You don't see it anymore. You shot your's and only memories of a dream. I'm so high I can touch the sun. I'm burnt down to a crisp, you see. There's so much more I can't write down. They fleet so quickly by. You want to get rid of me, but I refuse to go. Not because I want you, no- but because I want to stay.
That is the end of that one you say, and pretend to wipe an eye. You whisper I'll be coming up for more. Attempts to pretend, but knows not how to. Mmmmm; Angel. I should pack up my shit and let him be free to go. Could I come back at all or will I fall down through the wall. He keeps hinting and nudging. Let us go he pleads, help us all beware! She's mad as a hatter and ready to call out to the children and birches and brethren."
Has anyone ever noticed that the cookie monster only ever ate chocolate chip cookies? If you ask me that's a bit cookiest. Mozart was crazy- flat fucking crazy.These cookies are so fucking good. Mmm, image how good they'd be if I could microwave 'em. I'm addicted to microwaves, btw. They make life so much easier. Why the fuck didn't we use the microwave at home??
Ugh, I'm doing it again. I just had like, a zillion thoughts fly through my head, and go figure, I didn't write any of them down. Hrm. I'm going to the gym tomorrow. Mhmm, at.. 11? Gah, mornings. There was something wrong with me today- I'm not a hundred percent what it was, but I think I was just feeling lonely. Like, for what I'd been bitching about all last year. I got all reminiscent, and started remembering the boyfriends. The last two most specifically. Because I have no idea what I called them in previous posts, I'm just gonna go ahead and call them by the name- Jordan and Ryan. I remembered how it was with Jordan, and how he'd visit me at school because that was the only time we had together because of my parents. And how Ryan would come over and we'd "watch tv". Haha, I had my first spider-man kiss with Ryan. And how I introduced Jordan to Regina Spektor and how he introduced me to Beck. I fucked up with both of those. I ended it with Ryan because I told myself he was pressuring me. I don't remember what I thought he pressuring me towards, considering I was the worst of the two of us. I was the one who smoked and drank and did weed; who had piercings and tattoos. Wait, no, I didn't have a tattoo during either of those. Hrmmm, the cookies are almost done and Nat learnt what her middle finger meant. This soundtrack has been on repeat for the past 4 days. IT IS INCREDIBLE. I'm still not over it. And then I ruined our friendship during summer school by acting like a huge bitch. Hahahhaha, and that letter I sent him during our Advanced Functions class telling him how high I was. Then I ended it with Jordan too. Jordan who cared about me and offered me a place to stay if it ever got too bad with my parents. Hahaha, Jordan who wanted to get me checked for some STI before he'd have sex with me. Not that we ended up having sex- or getting the test. Jordan who I left alone for a summer while I traversed around Iran and last cookie! Sor-omnom nom-ry, om nom nom. Sorry. Right, who I left alone and wasn't able to communicate with. Who I wrote "no you're not" in response to his birthday status. Oh God, I feel like a tard catch me I'm falling, sinking and sprawling. Why am I such a massive bitch? I even have the bitch brows that go with it (I was just doing my eyebrows and I'm pretty sure they're perfect). I miss my mom. And my twin. And everyone else that matters. Is it super pathetic that I've only had two real relationships since 2009? Oh God why thank you doctor, Valium is my favourite colour. How'd ya know ;). It sounds so much worse when you actually look at the years. At least they were special. They say love is blind, but believe me- love is insane. I bet they're not dealing with this. I bet they haven't wasted their time remembering me. God, was is this fucking pity party. Do you see what I was saying about it being an off day??
Kay, fuck. I should go to bed. It's almost 1, and I'm tired and this day isn't going to get better if I have to go without sleep. And of course I didn't get any work done today. No, that would've made this day productive -_-. Night.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
The Little Duck Tie
Finally got the Next To Normal soundtrack from the brit. It's sooo good. Granted, these Mint Thin thingies are pretty fucking good too. And so was that veggie burger I had for dinner. Mmmmmmm, all this food talk is a bitchh.
So I wanted to write this in a way that wouldn't sound so pathetically first timerish, but couldn't think of anything so I'll just say it. I'm having a bowl right now and I'm super curious as to what I may write whilst high. But so far it sounds pretty much like how I usually write. And I would be perfect for you, I could be perfect for youu.
This cuckoo's nest is worse. Lol, guess I'm not really writing, kinda switched to quoting the music. Hahahha, she just referenced Sylvia Plath.
Uhm, stuff keeps twitching, and my neck is cricking and so are the crickets outside. The bike rack shufffle, the dance of the bars and wheels. The knuckles dancing, mini solos and bold duets? Cars driving by, up in my room, so fluid, so loud. Hard to swallow, gravel chunks bouncing off the waterfall throat. Sticky fingers, itchy ears. No similarity- just parts of the process. The marriage. The system. Massive zits and oddly placed hickeys. Misplaced zits and famous hickeys. Hickets. Bong water, stubbed toe. NO MORE LISTS! No bruises, no needles and pins. But what is poetry without listing? Words that work and form and portray, nothing gray- light and beauty and all that is write about the word. We're learning about Rhetoric in school. Oh, elementary school. Remember? When our biggest fear was that there might be a substitute teacher in that foreign classroom. We had Disney backpacks and Barney was still cool. I missed 11:11. I'll compensate with more- nay moar chocolate. Mmmmmmmm.That was really good chocolate. Why is it that chocolate tastes so much better when you're high? Lis and I were contemplating that whole "high" thing. I don't know why I put quotations on that. But we had made some fairly interesting breakthroughs regarding existence and what life really is. I'd tell you exactly what our theories were but I can't remember for the life of me. Again, always seems to be the case. You come up with some brilliant ideas and theories and concepts and then they're gone as soon you're sober. The worst.
I think I'm gonna go watch a movie or something now. Remind myself to do my Rhetorics journal and Assignment 1 for CS tomorrow. Anything else? No. Don't think so. Need to leave this room before I take more chocolate. Gahhhhh, chocolateee.
OH. First, I totally forgot to mention the awkward time with the brit's roommate today. Hahahahaha, I had texted the brit if I could nap in his room between my classes today and he said sure. So after lunch he walked me to his room and left for his class. His roommate was there when me and him walked in and was watching animes on his computer. I sat down at the desk, finished my resume and then collapsed in the bed and totally passed out. Don't know why I was so tired tbh. Also, don't know exactly where I was going with thaat story. Hmm. Anywho. Movie times. But I don't want to stop listening to the soundtrack. This song is so romantic and depressing. And moving. No, that other one was moving. What was it called? The piano one "you'll be done with this shit, and there's nothing your paranoid parents can say". Or something about Beethoven.
My psychopharmacologist and I... The Rapist. I called my shrink a rapist. I told her about it once. That she was The Rapist. She laughed at me. But not at me, just... with me. My favourite pills. Valium is my favorite color. HOW DO I STOP??? Gahhh, I can't stop listening to it. It's so addicting. And every time one song stops another one starts immediately. Bless me. (I sneezed) You should've seen my fngers fly over the keyboard during the typing of this last paragraph.
So I wanted to write this in a way that wouldn't sound so pathetically first timerish, but couldn't think of anything so I'll just say it. I'm having a bowl right now and I'm super curious as to what I may write whilst high. But so far it sounds pretty much like how I usually write. And I would be perfect for you, I could be perfect for youu.
This cuckoo's nest is worse. Lol, guess I'm not really writing, kinda switched to quoting the music. Hahahha, she just referenced Sylvia Plath.
Uhm, stuff keeps twitching, and my neck is cricking and so are the crickets outside. The bike rack shufffle, the dance of the bars and wheels. The knuckles dancing, mini solos and bold duets? Cars driving by, up in my room, so fluid, so loud. Hard to swallow, gravel chunks bouncing off the waterfall throat. Sticky fingers, itchy ears. No similarity- just parts of the process. The marriage. The system. Massive zits and oddly placed hickeys. Misplaced zits and famous hickeys. Hickets. Bong water, stubbed toe. NO MORE LISTS! No bruises, no needles and pins. But what is poetry without listing? Words that work and form and portray, nothing gray- light and beauty and all that is write about the word. We're learning about Rhetoric in school. Oh, elementary school. Remember? When our biggest fear was that there might be a substitute teacher in that foreign classroom. We had Disney backpacks and Barney was still cool. I missed 11:11. I'll compensate with more- nay moar chocolate. Mmmmmmmm.That was really good chocolate. Why is it that chocolate tastes so much better when you're high? Lis and I were contemplating that whole "high" thing. I don't know why I put quotations on that. But we had made some fairly interesting breakthroughs regarding existence and what life really is. I'd tell you exactly what our theories were but I can't remember for the life of me. Again, always seems to be the case. You come up with some brilliant ideas and theories and concepts and then they're gone as soon you're sober. The worst.
I think I'm gonna go watch a movie or something now. Remind myself to do my Rhetorics journal and Assignment 1 for CS tomorrow. Anything else? No. Don't think so. Need to leave this room before I take more chocolate. Gahhhhh, chocolateee.
OH. First, I totally forgot to mention the awkward time with the brit's roommate today. Hahahahaha, I had texted the brit if I could nap in his room between my classes today and he said sure. So after lunch he walked me to his room and left for his class. His roommate was there when me and him walked in and was watching animes on his computer. I sat down at the desk, finished my resume and then collapsed in the bed and totally passed out. Don't know why I was so tired tbh. Also, don't know exactly where I was going with thaat story. Hmm. Anywho. Movie times. But I don't want to stop listening to the soundtrack. This song is so romantic and depressing. And moving. No, that other one was moving. What was it called? The piano one "you'll be done with this shit, and there's nothing your paranoid parents can say". Or something about Beethoven.
My psychopharmacologist and I... The Rapist. I called my shrink a rapist. I told her about it once. That she was The Rapist. She laughed at me. But not at me, just... with me. My favourite pills. Valium is my favorite color. HOW DO I STOP??? Gahhh, I can't stop listening to it. It's so addicting. And every time one song stops another one starts immediately. Bless me. (I sneezed) You should've seen my fngers fly over the keyboard during the typing of this last paragraph.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
And I Will Hold On Hope
It's 1:13 in the morning and I'm exhausted. I have a job interview tomorrow and I'm still up working on my online computer science course and it's driving me insane. I hate, repeat- HATE, it. I couldn't possibly give less of a damn about fucking computers and the name of the formula you put into excel to solve the equation =c3*50/2. I COULD NOT CARE LESS. I want to sleep but I've promised myself I'd finish reading the modules first. It's so bad that I am currently drinking the Wild Vines cherry pomegranate wine I had left in the fridge in hopes of numbing the pain associated with my loathing of computer science. Hah- my mum wanted me to take more CS courses. Yeah, right, that's gonna happen. There is definitely not enough wine in this bottle. I might grab one of my beers after and chug that too. I'm also powering through my pack of Marlboro's- that's not really helping either.
But I have faith in myself. I can do this. It doesn't help that every time I ask people to help they just tell me to ask Tall White boy. I do not want to be forced to spend more time than necessary with him just so I can pass my CS course. I will find another way. Even if it means embracing this loathing and turning it into pure determination. I have the power to do that. Or so I keep telling myself.
I will get through this course.
Also, I'm in love with Mumford and Sons. I borrowed the CD from the asian ottowaian and it's great. It will get me through this torture tonight. And the many nights that follow.
On the plus side, there's a kegger I'm looking forward to this friday. Fuck, I need to get drunk. And soon. This sobriety is almost worse than the CS course. I don't know how people are able to major in this shit.
Fuck. The wines done.
Goddamn.
But I have faith in myself. I can do this. It doesn't help that every time I ask people to help they just tell me to ask Tall White boy. I do not want to be forced to spend more time than necessary with him just so I can pass my CS course. I will find another way. Even if it means embracing this loathing and turning it into pure determination. I have the power to do that. Or so I keep telling myself.
I will get through this course.
Also, I'm in love with Mumford and Sons. I borrowed the CD from the asian ottowaian and it's great. It will get me through this torture tonight. And the many nights that follow.
On the plus side, there's a kegger I'm looking forward to this friday. Fuck, I need to get drunk. And soon. This sobriety is almost worse than the CS course. I don't know how people are able to major in this shit.
Fuck. The wines done.
Goddamn.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Hand Turned To The Sky
I'm bleeding, I'm bleeding
I'm feeling, I'm feeling
I'm tossing, I'm turning
My stomach is churning
My face won't present it
I'm sitting, I'm writing
I'm feeling, I'm knowing
My eyeballs are dry and
I'm blinking and breathing
My mouth tastes like chalk
And my hair is all falling
In front of my face
My eyes aren't working
I'm floating, I'm jumping
I'm spitting, I'm running
I haven't left my seat
But I haven't lied yet
My scalp is crying
My ears are ringing
But no one will know it
If my face won't present it
And through the slit in the window
The world is presented
On a concrete platter
Partially hidden, as worlds often are
But the truth is still out there
Waiting to check to see if you're still looking
To see if your seeking
As hide and seek goes
I'm losing, I'm losing
The truth always knows
The truth always goes
Away- but comes back
For round two, and three and four
So long as the pen never leaves the paper
I'm fucking, I'm screwing
I'm using crude words
To break out of a shell
A mold- Imposed
Alllllllll the world knows it
They come out at night
When no one is looking
And judging and staring
Or so they think and
Hope and pray
But the truth (that we've found)
Is simple and clear
We are crude
And I count
The number of men,
and women,
I've fucked
Tick them off
Little checks in a list
To-do list indeed
To-done
To-day
It makes me laugh
And I pretend not to care
Slut! Whore! Frank. Honest.
Synonymous?
For me
They are
I am
Dispossessed.
Do I belong?
Can I belong?
Will I ever belong?
I pretend not to care
But I'm bleeding, I'm bleeding
I'm feeling, I'm trying
I'm crying
I'm dying.
I'm feeling, I'm feeling
I'm tossing, I'm turning
My stomach is churning
My face won't present it
I'm sitting, I'm writing
I'm feeling, I'm knowing
My eyeballs are dry and
I'm blinking and breathing
My mouth tastes like chalk
And my hair is all falling
In front of my face
My eyes aren't working
I'm floating, I'm jumping
I'm spitting, I'm running
I haven't left my seat
But I haven't lied yet
My scalp is crying
My ears are ringing
But no one will know it
If my face won't present it
And through the slit in the window
The world is presented
On a concrete platter
Partially hidden, as worlds often are
But the truth is still out there
Waiting to check to see if you're still looking
To see if your seeking
As hide and seek goes
I'm losing, I'm losing
The truth always knows
The truth always goes
Away- but comes back
For round two, and three and four
So long as the pen never leaves the paper
I'm fucking, I'm screwing
I'm using crude words
To break out of a shell
A mold- Imposed
Alllllllll the world knows it
They come out at night
When no one is looking
And judging and staring
Or so they think and
Hope and pray
But the truth (that we've found)
Is simple and clear
We are crude
And I count
The number of men,
and women,
I've fucked
Tick them off
Little checks in a list
To-do list indeed
To-done
To-day
It makes me laugh
And I pretend not to care
Slut! Whore! Frank. Honest.
Synonymous?
For me
They are
I am
Dispossessed.
Do I belong?
Can I belong?
Will I ever belong?
I pretend not to care
But I'm bleeding, I'm bleeding
I'm feeling, I'm trying
I'm crying
I'm dying.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Kay, so the hole is over there.
No, on the other side of the apple. Thereee ya go. Hahahaha, you totes thought I was going in a different direction with that "whole" thing.
Lol, no pun in tended.
Get it, cause it's "whole" thing, instead of that "hole" thing? Shuddup, it was funny in my head -_-
ANYWHO. There is a story behind the title, and it's all part of my entertaining.... evening? Yeah, sure, cause the entertainment started around 6ish. So I went to go see the gay brit and we chilled for a bit then headed back to his dorm. He lives on an all boys floor and I had to pee and he's like "no worries, just go use ours. It's a unisex bathroom". I believed him. Walked in and saw a bunch of guys peeing and brushing their teeth. The worst part is, I didn't turn around and say sorry "wrong room". I walked in. Went to a stall. Sat down. And peed. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME??? One of the guys told me, as I was leaving, "maybe it'll be best if you use the bathroom upstairs next time". I almost died of embarrassment. Then, back in gay brits room, we were drinking these apple cider alcohol drinks (that are super awesome and come in Tall Boy cans) and we found some writings under his shelf, above his pillow. I was reading them and one said a guys name and the year 85-86 underneath it. SO we decided to look this guy up and see where he is at this point in his life. We found him through google and then managed to find his e-mail address and decided to write to him and tell him the we were in his old room and stuff. We haven't heard back from him yet, but it was super exciting. As I mentioned earlier, this was all done while drinking this cider which got me fairly intoxicated. When we had to part ways, I to go him and him to continue his frosh duties, I was kinda drunk and had a half hour walk back home- where we had celebratory champagne (which we later found to be sparkling white wine, not champagne) with our dinner. Needless to say, I was pretty drunk after dinner. We decided to go for a walk and went through this petting zoo/garden/park thing and had a good time climbing things and being stupid and walking on railway tracks. On our way back home we found that one of my housemates (who we will dub WL- because she goes to Laurier) had lost her phone. None of the rest of us brought phones. We couldn't call her to help us find it and we didn't know what to do. So we just kinda looked around but couldn't find it anywhere. I told them I'd go to the house to get a flashlight and a phone to help us look. On my way back after I'd gotten the stuff, I ran into our.... neighbors? Well, they live in a subdivision of our house/building. And I ran into them- as they were lighting a bowl. It was an apple bong. For those who don't know, an apple bong is when you poke a hole into the apple from the stem, and then (I believe) you poke another hole in the side and connect the two "tunnels". You put the weed in the part of the apple with a stem, on top of some tin foil or filter, and smoke through the side hole. It's pretty intense and I had been craving weed that day. We said hello and introduced ourselves because we hadn't really met before, and they offered me a hit. I really wanted to, but I was in a rush to go help WL. They insisted (and I can't say no to weed) so I took a hit. After talking a bit more they asked to see the house and then showed me their house. They then, eversokindly, offered to help with the search. Thus, I found a search party. One of the guys hurt his wrist jumping a fence so him, his girlfriend and one of the guys headed back leaving just me and WL and 3 of the guys we met. One of the neighbors eventually found the phone just as we were going to give up our search so we headed back and I invited them in for tea. I was hoping they'd say no cause I was super exhausted and it was already past 1am then. Unfortunately they accepted and I had to stay up making them tea and entertaining them and stuff.
Goddamn I'm tired. Think I'll have to leave the story here. Though, not much else happened, it was jut really entertaining watching this guy trying to get me to invite him (alone) to stay longer as the other two left. He asked for my number then texted me saying "what are your plans for tonight?" Hahahaha. But he was cute. And sweet. Not really my ideal, but I guess I'd be happy dating him. He'd be acceptable.
As much as I'd love to write more, my eyes are slowly closing on me.
Night!
Lol, no pun in tended.
Get it, cause it's "whole" thing, instead of that "hole" thing? Shuddup, it was funny in my head -_-
ANYWHO. There is a story behind the title, and it's all part of my entertaining.... evening? Yeah, sure, cause the entertainment started around 6ish. So I went to go see the gay brit and we chilled for a bit then headed back to his dorm. He lives on an all boys floor and I had to pee and he's like "no worries, just go use ours. It's a unisex bathroom". I believed him. Walked in and saw a bunch of guys peeing and brushing their teeth. The worst part is, I didn't turn around and say sorry "wrong room". I walked in. Went to a stall. Sat down. And peed. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME??? One of the guys told me, as I was leaving, "maybe it'll be best if you use the bathroom upstairs next time". I almost died of embarrassment. Then, back in gay brits room, we were drinking these apple cider alcohol drinks (that are super awesome and come in Tall Boy cans) and we found some writings under his shelf, above his pillow. I was reading them and one said a guys name and the year 85-86 underneath it. SO we decided to look this guy up and see where he is at this point in his life. We found him through google and then managed to find his e-mail address and decided to write to him and tell him the we were in his old room and stuff. We haven't heard back from him yet, but it was super exciting. As I mentioned earlier, this was all done while drinking this cider which got me fairly intoxicated. When we had to part ways, I to go him and him to continue his frosh duties, I was kinda drunk and had a half hour walk back home- where we had celebratory champagne (which we later found to be sparkling white wine, not champagne) with our dinner. Needless to say, I was pretty drunk after dinner. We decided to go for a walk and went through this petting zoo/garden/park thing and had a good time climbing things and being stupid and walking on railway tracks. On our way back home we found that one of my housemates (who we will dub WL- because she goes to Laurier) had lost her phone. None of the rest of us brought phones. We couldn't call her to help us find it and we didn't know what to do. So we just kinda looked around but couldn't find it anywhere. I told them I'd go to the house to get a flashlight and a phone to help us look. On my way back after I'd gotten the stuff, I ran into our.... neighbors? Well, they live in a subdivision of our house/building. And I ran into them- as they were lighting a bowl. It was an apple bong. For those who don't know, an apple bong is when you poke a hole into the apple from the stem, and then (I believe) you poke another hole in the side and connect the two "tunnels". You put the weed in the part of the apple with a stem, on top of some tin foil or filter, and smoke through the side hole. It's pretty intense and I had been craving weed that day. We said hello and introduced ourselves because we hadn't really met before, and they offered me a hit. I really wanted to, but I was in a rush to go help WL. They insisted (and I can't say no to weed) so I took a hit. After talking a bit more they asked to see the house and then showed me their house. They then, eversokindly, offered to help with the search. Thus, I found a search party. One of the guys hurt his wrist jumping a fence so him, his girlfriend and one of the guys headed back leaving just me and WL and 3 of the guys we met. One of the neighbors eventually found the phone just as we were going to give up our search so we headed back and I invited them in for tea. I was hoping they'd say no cause I was super exhausted and it was already past 1am then. Unfortunately they accepted and I had to stay up making them tea and entertaining them and stuff.
Goddamn I'm tired. Think I'll have to leave the story here. Though, not much else happened, it was jut really entertaining watching this guy trying to get me to invite him (alone) to stay longer as the other two left. He asked for my number then texted me saying "what are your plans for tonight?" Hahahaha. But he was cute. And sweet. Not really my ideal, but I guess I'd be happy dating him. He'd be acceptable.
As much as I'd love to write more, my eyes are slowly closing on me.
Night!
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
College (noun): The party before the hangover known as adulthood.
^Pretty much a summary of how I feel right now. I'm practically all moved in to the new house- just waiting on my mattress. Currently sleeping on the couch, cuddled nicely in blondie's blanket. I can't get over the fact that we've all moved in, it feels almost surreal. Like, I might just wake up tomorrow and find I'm back in my parent's house again and this moving business was all just a dream. God, that's a terrifying thought.
Totally off topic, but I need to mention this, then I can return to my new house talk. First of all, not really loving this new blogger business. I hate when they tell you to "try" a new layout but there's no return button after you've decided you don't like it. Gahhhh. Second of all, I've started gathering all my loose leaf and notebook bound writings and I've decided I should probably post them before they go missing again. The only thing is THERE IS SOO MUCH. I'll probably start working on it eventually.
So. The house. Fuck, it's awesome. It's super old and shit, and creaks a whole ton, but it's super homey and there's a vibrant blue light in one of the corridors (chyeahhhh, not just a hallway, a corridor) that kinda looks like it should be a black light, and the walls have super old wallpaper on them, and there's a fireplace, and an attic that has a poster of Megan Fox that the last tenants left behind, and... well, you get my point. This list could easily just keep going, but it's late, and I'm tired from moving and unpacking so I'll proceed with the rest of what I wanted to say. I absolutely love that we're all gonna be living together. Sure, it might be difficult at times, dealing with each others, I dunno, flaws? or whatever, but it's worth it. We're gonna be like a real family. Except, a real family that drinks and parties together. Chyeahhhhhhhh. I like saying that. It makes me feel super badass.
We had a great first night. Had everyone from the other house over, played a fucking awesome (stressful) game of Taboo, and just had an overall good time.
Kay, I'm far too tired.. and cold, to think clearly enough to be able to write more. SO goodnight :)
Totally off topic, but I need to mention this, then I can return to my new house talk. First of all, not really loving this new blogger business. I hate when they tell you to "try" a new layout but there's no return button after you've decided you don't like it. Gahhhh. Second of all, I've started gathering all my loose leaf and notebook bound writings and I've decided I should probably post them before they go missing again. The only thing is THERE IS SOO MUCH. I'll probably start working on it eventually.
So. The house. Fuck, it's awesome. It's super old and shit, and creaks a whole ton, but it's super homey and there's a vibrant blue light in one of the corridors (chyeahhhh, not just a hallway, a corridor) that kinda looks like it should be a black light, and the walls have super old wallpaper on them, and there's a fireplace, and an attic that has a poster of Megan Fox that the last tenants left behind, and... well, you get my point. This list could easily just keep going, but it's late, and I'm tired from moving and unpacking so I'll proceed with the rest of what I wanted to say. I absolutely love that we're all gonna be living together. Sure, it might be difficult at times, dealing with each others, I dunno, flaws? or whatever, but it's worth it. We're gonna be like a real family. Except, a real family that drinks and parties together. Chyeahhhhhhhh. I like saying that. It makes me feel super badass.
We had a great first night. Had everyone from the other house over, played a fucking awesome (stressful) game of Taboo, and just had an overall good time.
Kay, I'm far too tired.. and cold, to think clearly enough to be able to write more. SO goodnight :)
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