Every Now and Then I Fall Apart

The last post wasn't directed to you, if that's what you were thinking, I DO follow a number of 'em :)
By the way, I can't believe how bad it is, I though it was just a small thing, I hope you get better soon <3

I miss my floor, my friends, my life. Plus, I miss being able to talk to someone about something the minute after it happens, I can't do that while I'm home, cause ginger is in NY right now, and Toto doesn't really know how to relate to this sort of thing. I want to tell you what it is I'm talking about when I say "this sort of thing" but I'm still scared that my parents can read what I right, and it makes me nervous. BUT I WANT TO VENT ABOUT IT. I reeeeaaalllyyy want to go see my shrink again :( Haha, it's funny how I want her so badly now after resenting being forced to see her at first.

Basically, the number is 14 now.

Turn Around

Getting bored of reading what she has to say, it's mostly about that anyways. Meh, whatever, her life, her choice. My main concern right now is my parents. Now that I'm back home for the summer, life's gonna go back to how it was in highschool, i.e., torture. Plus, I'm scared they're still following what I do on the internet, and thus, am scared they'll be able to read this. Achhh, I don't want to deal with this again. But I don't know what to do. For now I've just been laying low, doing whatever they want me to, haven't even left the house yet, like, since I got back. The blog is my main concern in regards to them, and I suppose it wouldn't hurt to write less over the summer, but I don't think I'll be able to not write. I don't know. I'm kinda hoping I'll see the shrink again. I miss her. And she always knew what to say, or how to fix something. But it was super expensive to see her. It cost a whole 200 bucks each time I saw her for an hour. God, those people make good money. I don't know if we can afford it on top of school fees. Maybe if I find a job I'll be able to pay for it, but we'll see.
On another note, he's trying to hook up with me again. I've agreed to go out for coffee with him sometime this week. I just hope it stays at coffee and doesn't go any further.
We shall see.

Philosophy of Mind

Can you believe it? I am going to be done my first year of University in about.. 26 hours.
HOLY FUCK.
It just flew past, I barely even remember the beginning of the year anymore.
This is weirrdd.

Having a Day From Hell

I'm getting fed up with this, not only have I practically lost the friendship I had with her, now I'm losing her too. Before, they were, as a couple, but I could still imagine they were separate people. I can't see it anymore. They're always together, they're hardly ever joining the rest of us, she didn't join us for her roommates birthday, AND I tried calling her today, and got her voicemail. It is a ridiculous message intertwining their two voices alternatively, saying that they aren't there to pick up the phone. IT'S A FUCKING CELL PHONE. There is no "our" in cell phone. A SINGLE PERSON owns a cellphone.

Yes, I realize I'm being a bitch about this, but I'm just getting really fed up and I'm already freaking out over tomorrow's exam, and I miss being friends with the person I thought was going to be my university bestie. Yeah, I know you read this, I just didn't really want to talk to you about it. Plus, I needed to vent, and this is technically where I vent, and I didn't know where else to write it. I can't believe I'm apologizing for saying whats on my mind on my blog. I used to think I'd be able to write whatever on here without freaking out about it, but now I'm just trying to keep writing so I can keep myself from clicking "Publish Post" cause I'm scared I'll hurt your feelings if I post this. So I'm trying to convince myself that it is my "safe place", the only place I can be completely honest, and that I should be able to write whatever I want here.

As I've said repeatedly, I do still love you, I just really don't like him, and what your relationship has done to your friendships with EVERYBODY. I remember the beginning of the year, and all the drama we dealt with because he was such a douche bag to you and would only hook up with you. How I'd sit and talk with you about how he'd come around eventually, and some other random shit. I think I was more ok with him then. I used to hug him *shudder*. I don't even think it's him I dislike so much as it is how you guys act as a couple. I'm sure I still dislike him, I just don't know why. He gets on my nerves.

Ugh, I should probably get back to studying now. That was a good rant. I hope it doesn't sound really mean or anything, that wasn't the direction I was going for. It was supposed to be more reflective, and venting, I suppose. Which means it may be kinda angry.
KAY, NO. I HAVE TO STOP NOW.

It Wasn't Going So Well

Wouldn't it be logical for us to consider those who believe in God as Schizophrenic? I mean, I'm not saying I don't believe in God, just that, we are pledging faith in an almighty being we've never seen before. Don't people get locked up for believing in something other people can't see?
Logically, we should be considered crazy.
Just saying.

Sand and Foam

This weekend was pretty sick, I wasn't expecting it to be as much fun as it was. I went home on friday, mainly to drop off some stuff, but also because the ginger, toto and I were going to the Tim Burton exhibit on saturday (which was INCREDIBLE). I got a ride home from a friend, which was awesome and highly convenient, plus, he's cool and I like his girlfriend :P. I think I was supposed to offer to chip in for gas, but I mean, it's not like I asked him to come get me, he was dropping a friend off in Waterloo, so I asked if I could go back with him. I probably should've offered anyways. Ah well, too late now.
As I said, the exhibit was great, a bunch of Tim Burton's artwork, and notes from the movies, and costumes, and just... stuff. Plus, we went to this really great food place before the exhibit and I had THE. GREATEST. PIZZA. EVER. Literally.
After the exhibit, we headed off to the pillow fight. I should explain. We like doing the events hosted by Improv Toronto, which is why we did the no pants subway ride, and the free hugs, and the other random stuff. Yesterday, they hosted a massive pillow fight, and people brought pillows, had a pillow fight and then donated the pillows to a charity thing. We spent the whole day lugging these pillows around, getting numerous looks from people, and a very entertaining encounter at the exhibit, cause security asked us to check our pillows into coat check :P. It was funneh.
SO, we went to the pillow fight and it was fun for about... ten minutes. Then we got bored. Luckily. we were prepared. We pulled out our free hug signs and started calling out things like "Stop the pillow fights!" "Violence is not the answer!" "Share hugs, not feathers!" etc., and that got a lot of attention, people were super excited to get hugs, and I think everyone took a picture of us. It was weird, but great fun, cause getting hugs always makes me smile.
We went to Timmies after, and met up with some old highschool friends, which was cool, but we had to leave early cause the ginger's dad was giving us a ride back. Overall, it was a good day.

Before I bring this to an end, I'd like to say to blondie, that we still love you, and we do still want to hang out with you all the time.. just preferably not with him... all the time. Just saying :D Also, SO EXCITED FOR THE HOUSE NEXT YEAR!!!

That is all.
<3