Wouldn't Want To Be Anybody Else

I wonder how people in the "olden days" reacted to rainbows. Do you think they burned a "witch" each time they saw one? Blamed some poor, random woman for putting magical colours into the sky? What was the first reaction to the first rainbow? Like, the cave people who lived, what did they think when that saw a rainbow? Did they do any cave drawings of them? Did they worship them?

Why are dead leaves the most beautiful? Is this supposed to represent something about our lives?

I'm a little bit in love with the guy who sings "Somebody That I Used To Know", he's beautiful. I want someone real to be a little bit in love with though. I feel like I've been changing again. I've become less of a slut. Honest! I've only slept with one guy thus far (this school term). Yes, there was other stuff with other guys, but no sex. That's an improvement.

Ugh, I need a job.

I'm really hung up on this song though, and it's not just that I'm in love with the guy who's singing it either. I love his voice, and I feel like I can really relate to the lyrics. It's lie the story of every one of my relationships (oh, god- they feel so far away; I barely remember the details anymore).

The tree we just drove by had white leaves. It was beautiful.

But yeah, the song. I keep thinking about back when I was with so-and-so. I'm addicted to this "certain kind of sadness". I'm hung up on this- thing. But we didn't need to cut each other off afterwards. We could've been friends. Cause now, as he says, they're just people I used to know. Used to love? How is it possible to switch between such extremes? To go from blind, doting obsession to barely acquainted? I mean, we were so in love. We'd think, dream and breathe each other. Now it's hard to even remember his face. We used to talk all the time. Randomly, at 3 in the morning. Now I can't recall the last time we spoke.
I really do miss it. It doesn't help that I haven't got the balls to tell people I may be attracted to how I feel. Plus, I run away from the one night stands that show more interest. Goddamn it all to heck.
What is attraction anyways? What tells us that one person is hot but another isn't? Do we take an inventory of their features and think "blue eyes, check, good nose, check, broad shoulders, check, kay- he's hot"?

You know what else is weird? This stuff doesn't actually bother me during the day, or night, or whatever. It barely crosses my mind. It's only when I've got a blank page in front of me and need to empty thoughts onto it that I turn to these ideas.