Something I forgot to write a while ago, or maybe just couldn't write, is a conversation I had with my mom. I forget what the situation was, why we were mad at each other, but I couldn't stand her. I didn't want to be near her. My dad begged me to go out for lunch with her. I said no. His voice cracked, through the phone, and I heard the tears choking him. I broke. I agreed to go to lunch with her, and called her to pick me up from school. As we were on our way to Timmies, she looked at me, and tried to start lecturing me. I told her I didn't want to hear it. I wouldn't let her talk, and instead blasted angry music through my headphones. When we got there, and ordered, and were seated across from each other, she started talking again. It somehow lead to her mentioning being in an abortion centre once. I was so mad at her, it didn't click for me that she was there for herself. Suddenly, her eyes were red, and she was shaking. Staring off into a time I couldn't see, she was no longer with me. "Mom?"
Nothing.
I held her, hugged her, let her cry. When she was done, she shakily explained to me, I was supposed to have another sibling. After I was born, they had my sister, and she had a heart condition. According to my mom, she couldn't risk that again, so the third time she got pregnant, she decided that the only option was to abort it.
This still haunts her, to this day, and I don't know why I needed to write it here, now, a month or so later. I never knew this about my mom, it never occured to me that she may have been through hardships in her lifetime.
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