What's bothering me right now is people. Yes, I do realize what a common topic that is here, but I can't help it. They're such curious beings. Actually, last time I was by the lake, I had some really serious thoughts on the matter. I realized that we as people only are. We don't do. Everything around us does, does exist, does something. Take me for example, I don't think I've ever affected anyone's life, done anything of importance, changed the course of nature. No one needs me, no one depends on me, nothing would change without me. In short, were I never born, nothing would be any different. This is a fact. It isn't a fact that would throw me to suicide, or cause me to do something irrational, it's just a fact. And fact is, that most people are in the same boat. And yet, we continue existing. Not doing, just existing.
We find trivial things and magnify them until they are the sole purpose of our existence, like relationships and schoolwork. Guaranteed, those are the only things on the minds of the majority of the students at this school right now. And then we get older, and suddenly we have more important things to deal with, like work and relationships. Things that kids would never understand the stress of. Of course.
None of this is even remotely close to the thoughts I had by the lake, but because I can't really remember those, I'm just writing for the sake of writing. And because I can't sleep.
Ugh, I've been so irresponsible. I keep telling myself I'll start studying for my exams and I just don't. There are all these distractions and more important things that keep me from being productive. I really need to try to get my sleep in order. I swear, I am going to wake up before 10 tomorrow, and do real work. It will happen. I am determined.
I didn't complete school- and now that I've moved on to some "more important things" I realize that school (and all the drama) is one of those important things. School leads to better jobs, with better pay... so down the line relationships, family, and work will be better. It's a vicious cycle at times and it is hard to deal with, but in my humble and "mistake filled" life it's best to think of everything in life as important. Everything- diet, friends, love, hobbies, new adventures, moving, animals, plants, work, what I do in my down time, how I talk, what I say... I'm trying to put myself into everything. Oh, wow... I guess I kind of went off a little there didn't I?
ReplyDeleteI'm glad we've crossed virtual paths. Keep your beautiful chin up, and follow your heart. :)
Hahhaha, kinda, yeah, but I get where you were going with it. So it's all good :P
ReplyDeleteI'm glad we have as well, it's really great having someone who gets it. Whatever "it" may be.
And thanks <3