Not Fond of Homophobes

I had some really weird sex last night. My friend called me at 10 last night saying there was a party and free drinks, so me and this guy figured we'd check it out. It was basically a sex party; a bunch of black people grinding, and making out, me and my friend the only non-blacks there. I got right into it, grabbed a drink and started dancing, but I guess my friend felt weird, he left pretty soon. Granted, I did dance with him, then switch to making out with this other guy in front of him, but, I mean, it's not like he was desperate to be with me. I mean, right? Think I might be wrong though, I have a feeling he's got a crush on me. At least a teeny tiny one. Anywho, this one guy, an albino, comes and starts grinding with me, making out, fingering me, etc. I ask him if he'd be interested in a threesome with another guy. He says no, but I convince him by offering "the greatest blowjob you've ever had" if he agrees. Oh God, I was drunk.

Uhm, right, so me and him go to his room, I blow him, and he leaves to find a condom. When he comes back theres this other guy with him. I was kinda surprised, wasn't expecting this to actually happen. But yeah, they're both there, stripping down and putting on condoms. Albino boy was a bit of a dick to me, he was really into the whole "if I insult her, it'll be sexy" thing, got tired of that pretty soon; but the other guy, it was weird, I almost thought I had feelings for him.

I need to explain this now. Basically, the reason the sex was so weird, despite the fact that it was a threesome with two incredibly tall black men (well, one black man, and one black albino man) was because the three of us were talking through the entire thing. We got into these really deep discussions about people, and ourselves, and life, and just everything. The black guy really seemed to know what I was talking about, albino was way more focused on the sex, like, he just kept trying to shut me up during our discussion. Sometimes. Other times he'd really get into it too. But right, the black guy. Uhm, yeah, so we'd keep talking and I explained.. myself, to him. And he understood! He genuinely seemed to understand me. I told him about my suicide attempt, my parents, my shrink, my friends, just, everything. And he told me about his life too, his friends, his family, the divorce, his siblings, his home, everything.

We spent the night cuddled in each others arms, and were practically convinced that we were in love, except that I'd explained to him my views on love as well, so it wasn't really love. We were just really into each other, and it made sense.

I'm a little bit concerned though, I mean, we had sex a number of times last night, and despite my constant reminders that they wear condoms, I don't think they were each time. Granted, I also don't think they came in me, but still, it's disconcerting. I hope that's the right word. I'm really tired. I didn't get much sleep and I don't want to sleep now. I'm determined to get my sleep pattern in check.

Oh right, I should probably discuss this as well. I hate guys. They make it so impossible to get over them. Earlier yesterday, I had convinced myself that I would waste no more time trying to get him to notice me, or find interest in me. And it was working. I stopped obsessing over him for at least half a day. But then we decided to go play pool, and he had to change into his formal attire (the guys on my floor have a theme for almost everyday, yesterday was Tie Saturday). As soon as he was dressed and ready to go, he walked out his door, pressed up against me, put his hand on my neck, fingers in my hair, and said "hey sexy". Just to show off his formal wear. He was all like, in his mock black voice, "Damn, you know girls love that". I had to laugh it off and swat him away, but I still can't forget the feeling of his hand on my neck. That dirty son of a bitch.

I think this is the last thing I need to write, then I think I'll watch Benny and Joon (great movie). Right, so me and blondie decided to prank the crippled ginger. There was a shopping cart in the hallway yesterday and we thought it'd be funny to put it in his room, take everything off his bed and shove it in the cart. So we did. He retaliated. Brought the cart to her room, locked a chair to it, and put it on her bed. Stupid strong boys -_-. So now we need to get back at him, but I don't know if I can or not because he'd taken my laptop, but then told me where it was. Does that void his taking it? I dunno, I suppose, but not really. I guess I'll just be an accomplice to blondie.